Is Love A Feeling?

Not gonna lie, I’m not feeling too inspired for songs to review today. So, I’m just gonna give you a Song (or two) You Should Listen To.

This month’s Song You Should Listen To is Love is a Commitment by Larry Norman. Some of you may remember hearing about him before – I suggested one of his songs on this blog last year (Why Should The Devil Have All The Good Music). I usually try to avoid talking about the same people all the time, because I like to try and keep my music selections and reviews diverse (to some extent). Although, I don’t feel too bad about bringing Larry back, because it was over a year ago that I last talked about him (but since I’m the one writing these posts, it feels like a month or two ago to me – how time flies).

At any rate, I love Larry Norman and his music, both lyrically and musically (granted, to like it musically, you have to like music that’s a bit on the old side). This song is no exception. The message from this song is one that I think about often, because so many people use the term “love” in so many different ways. I like this song because it sets the record straight on what love is. The song is made up of three verses and four “choruses.” I put choruses in quotations because they aren’t all the same, but they all basically follow the same formula. Let’s look at the lyrics:

I am on the left side you are on the right,
Even if we both disagree I’m gonna love you with all my might.

This is the first verse, and it’s basically telling us that the right thing to do in situations where we disagree with someone else, is not to try and argue with them and “win them over,” but rather to simply love them. Of course, this sounds pretty simple in theory, but in reality, it can be very difficult – especially when you feel like the reason you need to change them is for the other person’s own good. I don’t claim to be an expert on this, but my basic rule of thumb is that I try to make sure they understand my position on something (that I disagree with them), and then I leave it alone until they bring it up (or if it naturally comes up in conversation). If they are willing to talk about it, then I am willing to talk about it. Again though, not an expert. Let’s continue into the first chorus…

Love is not a ballad on the top ten chart
Love is not a virus from Cupid’s dart.
Love is not a promise that you tear apart
Love is a commitment heart to heart.

Many people might say that the feeling they get from a certain song (or poem, or book, or other art), is love, but really, that’s just the feeling they get, not necessarily love. Is love a feeling? Yes. However, it’s much more than “simply a feeling,” as we will see. Another common quip that people say all the time, is that “love is blind.” This harkens back to the days of greco-roman mythology, where they explained the sudden rush of emotion associated with love, as coming from being shot by cupid (something completely outside the individuals control), who is often portrayed as blind/blindfolded. Many time people will not have a reason for loving someone, they just love them because that’s how they feel. My question to this line reasoning is always, “what happens when your feelings change?” Which goes along with the next part – the “promise that you tear apart.” This, I think, is referring mainly to divorce. It’s not love if you promise on your wedding day that you will be together through think and thin, rich and poor, etc… only to change your mind a couple years later and break all those promises. What is love? A commitment, heart to heart, that you will love that person no matter what.

Maybe you feel impoverished but true love can abound
Why don’t we expand our love and knock these four walls down.

This verse is telling us that sometimes people might feel like no one loves them, and that in those times, it’s our duty as representatives of Christ to reach out to people in need, break through the barriers of social class, and cultural acceptability, and love them.

Love is not a matter of time and space
Love is not a flower in a golden vase
Love is not a fantasy in silk and lace
Love is a commitment face to face.

These are a few more examples of what love is not. “Time and space.” What does he mean by this? I think that what he means is that when you really love someone, as a friend, family member, or significant other, separation – whether by time or distance – will not change the fact that you still love them. Will it mean that you might not know them as well as if you lived next-door, or in the same house? Yes. But the separation will not mean that you stop loving them. “Flower in a golden vase.” This refers to stuff/gifts. Now, I’m not saying that giving gifts is bad, but if all you ever do is send people gifts, you shouldn’t expect them to love you. Things can never replace people. “Fantasy in silk and lace.” This goes into the realm of selfish, sexual gratification – whether it be watching, participating, or simply imagining/fantasizing, these things are not love. They are actually the opposite of love, because it’s all about you. Love is not all about you, love is a commitment, one that is done with respect, face to face.

I know that you’ve been hurt before, it’s sad to comprehend
But baby I love you rich or poor, so don’t think this is the end.

I think this verse speaks to people who have some kind of “history,” whether it’s emotional or physical damage, I think a doubt that people can have about others, or themselves, is that they are “damaged goods.” Larry reminds us that if we are loving like Jesus, then your past doesn’t change whether or not I love you. The past is done and gone, and has no control over my current decision to love someone. And like the JJ Heller song says, “Love can make you new.”

Love is not a fire like a burning coal
Love is not a high that you can’t control
Love is not a moon and a midnight stroll
Love is a commitment soul to soul.

Again, like we talked about before with cupid, love is not some crazy, burning emotion that you can’t control – that might be what many people think it is, but that is not love – that’s your emotions going crazy. Love is also not just a collection of romantic circumstances (a moonlit evening stroll). Surely when you love someone (in the romantic sense), you will probably find yourself doing romantic things, but if all you have is those things, without committed love to back them up, then all you have is a lot of empty circumstances. Emotions plus experiences don’t equal love. Love requires that your soul be poured into that relationship in a committed fashion.

Love can be a blessing or full of strife
Love burns like a kiss, cuts like a knife
Love goes far beyond a man and wife
Love is a commitment life to life.

Love is a blessing because of what it gives us – joy, happiness, friendship, some one to turn to, etc… Love might be full of strife in the sense that sometimes you will have to tell someone they are wrong, because you love them and want their well-being. Love also affects your emotions greatly – it can give you that warm fuzzy-electric feeling (like a kiss), but when someone you love hurts your feelings it can feel like they stabbed you with a knife. Finally, love is not limited to a man and his wife – it should extend to family, friends, and even enemies (Matt. 5:44, Luke 6:27). All too often we associate love purely with romantic feelings, but that is a far too narrow view of love. Love is much more than that. Love is the commitment of my life to yours.

Well, I don’t normally do such an extensive review for my Songs You Should Listen To posts, but I kinda wanted to write a review today, but I didn’t have any pop-culture songs that I really wanted to do. So, I hope you enjoyed this post, even though it was a bit longer and more of a review style. Here are all the appropriate links and such that I normally include with these posts. Enjoy.

iTunes: Buy on iTunes
Spotify: Larry Norman – Love Is a Commitment

Committed to love,
Teegan